Thursday, September 4, 2014

Our 1st Wedding Anniversary: My Heartfelt Letter To My Husband

Happy 1st wedding anniversary, my dear. Unexpectedly, time seems to fly like in a blink of an eye. Without even realizing, we have been married for a year now. I wanted to get you something special to celebrate such an important day in our life. But I didn't know what you would like. After pondering for some time, I figured it out that the best gift for you might be a heartfelt letter from me.

5th September 2013 - this is the day we wrote our signature on the marriage certificate, promising to love and care for each other till death do us apart. Unlike many others, our marriage was fast and simple. We did not hold any fanciful wedding banquet where we could have received tons of blessings from our most beloved families and friends. Neither did we exchange our wedding vows nor took our long-awaited wedding photo shoot. All we had was a self-taken photo that was not specially taken to celebrate our union and a pre-booked Korea tour package for our honeymoon.

Unlike many other newlyweds, our marriage has not been a smooth sailing one. Comparing to the days when we were still dating, there are relatively more conflicts, disagreements, miscommunication and arguments arising between us. In fact, we started to quarrel and misunderstand each other so often that I thought our marriage is on the verge of ending.

The decision to leave Singapore to relocate in Kuala Lumpur was one of the most major changing point in my life. The uncertainty of our future constantly worries me. It took a long while for me to adapt and adjust to my new environment and lifestyle. Loneliness and helplessness often overwhelmed me as I cried myself to sleep every night. I must admit that some of the times, I did blame you for my misery and for promising me a beautiful future which I could not and might not see. 

However, you stood by me, held me in your arms as you comfort and assure me that everything will be fine soon. I am thankful for everything you have done for me. Thank you for being patient and accommodating with me as you put up with all my unreasonable nonsense. Sorry for flaring my temper at you whenever I felt frustrated while punching and calling you bad names. I knew well that my immaturity would have hurt you, yet I chose to remain oblivious. I guess I was just too proud to lose my face. Or probably, too afraid and selfish to be on the losing end.

Of course, there were times when you got really annoyed and walked away. I got extremely scared that you will decided to leave me for good this time. But after a while, you still came back and apologized for causing hurt to me. It might not be your fault. But still... you chose to apologize.

Initially, I do not really understand the reason behind your apology. There were times when I even took it for granted. But now, I started to see why. It's all because you truly care and cherish about our relationship, so much so that you do not mind putting your dignity down. To you, apologizing does not hurt, as long as it does not affect our relationship. 

A dozen of people have asked me why did I got married at such a young age. How did I know you are the one and only right guy for me. Well, to be frank, I do not have the answers to these questions. I do not know whether you are the right one, but I do clearly know that you are not the wrong one. What I truly believe is there is no such thing as the perfect one in this world. I only know that you are the only one who can make me feel happy, safe and warm all the time. To me, you are my most perfect right guy.

Although numerous times, we have caused hurt and heartache to each other, I am glad that our love has remained strong. Perhaps, quarrels have enable us to understand each other more. As a husband, you became even more tolerant, patient, meticulous and responsible than you used to be. I saw how much you have changed to be the best husband for me and I really appreciate all your little efforts to make every of my day a great and happy one. Thank you for always placing me as your priority, showering with all the best things you have as you fulfill every of my requests. I could not describe how touched I felt for everything you have done for me and also how ashamed I was for not being a good wife. 

I am sorry for my insecurities and for being unappreciative at times. Sorry for the disappointment, hurt and heartache I have brought you. Thank you for staying by my side no matter how ridiculous or unreasonable I am. Marrying you is definitely the best decision I have made in my life. Even when I have to give up everything I have and start an entirely brand and different life, I did not regret. I admit that there were times I got really depressed and frustrated by the new life, but I am always glad that you are always there to comfort me. I promise I will put in all my best effort and be your good wife, supporting you and always be there for you whenever you need me. 

Lastly, on this anniversary, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my partner, lover, spouse and family. I could not imagine living a day without having you in my life now. I feel really proud to be your wife. Thanks for remaining endlessly patient with me and continue to love me despite all the wrongs I have done. No matter what happens, as long as my heart beats, I promised I will continue to stay and share all my life with me. I love you.

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