Saturday, March 15, 2014

Waiting Is A Torture

Photo credit: Koreandrama.orgThe Malay Mail Online

I believe everyone has something which you are anxiously or painfully waiting for. No matter how patient you are as a person, I believe there are bound to be times where waiting just seems like forever. You set your mind to eagerly wait for something to happen, but it just never feel like happening. It makes you anxious all the time. You check the clock constantly and was often surprised how little time has only passed.

Why waiting is often associated with torture? It's because you actually expected something to happen. However, the only thing that is lacking is only confirmation from a third party. When the confirmation didn't come within your expected time frame, you worry that things will not come as what you have expected. You started to question, to search for answers and eventually get depressed and demoralised for things not going smoothly. You blame for all the bad lucks.

I am not an exception as well...

To be frank, 2014 has not been so nice to me. Just 3 months into 2014, I lost every confidence I used to have. I doubted myself. I blamed everyone. Neither, 2014 is not a good year for Malaysia too. One incident after another happened without control. We could only waiting for miracles.

#1 : Job interviews

Although I am currently employed, I feel very unhappy with my current employment. Before I invested more time and hardwork into my current employment, I decided to search for better opportunities. But never have I expected I will encounter so much difficulties and unfairness.

I went for several interviews lately and ended with disappointment. For those companies I have not yet heard back from, waiting for an update is just a torture. Much worst, most companies in Asia don't even bother to update their interviewees at all.

I believe everyone has the experience where you went for an interview with xxx company and was asked to wait for further news from the HR. You have briefed about the company and the terms of employment. The interview was enjoyable and you have feeling that the company likes you and you have gotten the job. You waited excitedly for a confirmation call. But you never heard any. As days passes, waiting became agonising and torturing. Why? It's because you have high expectations and that the interviews made you want the job even more desperately.

Everytime after an interview, I have difficulties focusing on any other things. I would keep on checking my phone, making sure that my line connection is working well. More stupidly, I even called myself to make sure my phone rings up. Every email alert I received make my heart beats faster. I fear but still hold on to hope that it will a congratulation email rather than "we regret to inform you that you are not shortlisted. Thus, we wish you the best of luck in your future job search." But I was even more disappointed to find that was not an email from the company.

I have insomnia during days when I have interviews scheduled. I wish I am done with the interviews soon so that I do not have to worry so much. But I worry even more after the end of the interviews. Always, I tried to tell myself not to expect too much. The higher your expectation, the more disappointment you will feel. But it's not easy. I could only patiently and painfully wait for the outcome.

I hate interviews...

#2 : The dry spell

Singapore and Malaysia are hit by a dry spell in the past 3 months. It has been reported that this year is the driest year in history ever. Neither of the countries have seen this coming.

The reserviors started to dry up while the air quality reached an unhealthy level. Once again, we are bothered by the haze problem. Everywhere reeks of burning smell due to forests and vegetation fires. The dry season has gave the Malaysian government no choice but to cut water supply in some of the areas in Malaysia.

Have we ever thought of the day where Malaysia did not have enough water to supply? Nope! Maybe for Singapore but not for Malaysia.

We pray for rain and we could only wait. There are plans to create artificial rain with cloud seeding technology. It did help to create some rainfall that did not last for 5 minutes.

I miss the smell of rain. I miss the raining season.

#3 : Disppearance of MH370

Just when we are hit by the persistant dry spell and trying to look for a solution to it, the news about the sudden disappearance of Malaysian Airlines, MH370 broke out. The news surprised the whole world. Numerous of rumours broke out, all of them trying to guess the reason of the sudden disappearance of the plane. Instantly, Malaysia became the limelight of the world.

Search efforts has been immediately carried out once the news broke out on international news. It has been a week since the plane lost contact from the world. Families of the missing passengers are devastated and some collasped into despair.

The public sent in their prayers, hoping that it will lead MH370 back to us safely soon. The families could not do anything but to wait endlessly for any new update on their loved ones. We are curious about the reason why an entire plane disappeared without any sign. All of us are waiting for an answer.

But to the missing passengers' families, the reason might be not as important. They need an explanation. They are waiting to see their loved ones again, even for one last time.

Although I hope that MH370 will be in a safe place, part of me strongly feel that it will be bad news. There is a possibility of hijacking, disintergration, explosion and many other reasons. I could not imagine how the families of the missing passengers are feeling now. It must feel like world's end for them.

"Cherish every goodbye because that might be the last goodbye". We don't know what will happen next in our life. So cherish the present moment. May the endless wait end soon. Let's pray for MH370.

#4: My husband's return

As mentioned in one of my previous post, I am eagerly waiting for my husband's return. Due to his job requirement, he has been outstation to Penang for half a year. I am counting down every second, every minute, every hour and every day for his return. You might ask why am I so attached and dependent to him? It's because he is the only one I have here. He is the only one who I believe will never betray me and stand on my side.

Recalling the time when we are still dating, I could not even bear to not even see him for a week. Many people say that it's because our love was not strong enough and our hearts were not close together. But we still managed to hold our hands together and promised to walk our life together. His kisses and hugs never fail to calm my distraughted heart. He is my support, emotionally and physically. I miss him so much.

#5: Kdramas online

I am a Kdrama addict. I believe you will understand if you are too. Whenever I started on a new Kdrama, I couldn't stop. But the frustrating thing is having to wait for a new episode with translation to be uploaded online every week. There are times when you have problem viewing the latest episode. There are also times when you realized the uploaded episode do not come with translation in languages which you understand. Whenever at such moment, I believe you will feel immensely annoyed and angry.
So I learnt to only start a drama after it ended and have all the episodes uploaded in working condition. I might be a bit slower to catch the most popular drama at that time, but I hate the idea of waiting even more.

I recently just finished "You who came from the stars" or "Love from the stars". I am late, but not very late. It only took me 3 days to finish the whole drama. But it's great not to wait every week.

#6: The inspiration to write

Writing a new post requires inspiration. Many times I have a topic to write but found the post to short to be published. Therefore, I try to search for more information to include in a post. Just like this post where I just wanted to write briefly on my interviews, complain about the weather or talk about local news and more. However, the ideas are shattered all over like pieces of jigsaw puzzles. Often, I found myself waiting for the pieces to be gathered together to form a complete set.

The wait can be short or long sometimes. I feel anxious while waiting for all the ideas to be gathered. There are times where I have encountered a period of writer block which I have mentioned in my previous post.

So, I try to relax and forget about blogging for a while. I watch drama, play my games and read up on other bloggers' blogs to look for the inspiration to write. It is torturing but as I started to write more, I have gotten quite used to it now.

#7: Urinary and bowel urgency

I believe everyone would have experience a time where you urgency need to go to the washroom but is unable to. I usually experience this while I was travelling on train or bus while on my way to work.

The wait to arrive at my destination always feel horrible at this moment. Neither I could alight the train or bus halfway to go to the washroom. I might be late if I did that. Everytime at this moment, I will secretly pray that the train or bus will move faster. But at the same time, curse for every stop it stopped at.

Final thoughts

So, these are the few things I found waiting to be a torture recently. But not all waiting are painfully. "Good things are worth the wait". I believe most people would have heard this semtence before.

Do you have things which you are eagerly waiting for but never happened? Share with me if you don't mind!

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